Since I am afflicted and needy…

The ever-evolving world of friendships seems to keep in a constant state of mourning. Life changes, time is short and before you know it you haven’t actually seen or talked to that one friend for months. Other days you hear from someone you hadn’t talked to in years and are elated to rekindle old friendships. And yet still there are days when it feels like you have no friends at all, and no one can be bothered to make spending time together a priority.  I am often jealous of the girl’s trip weekend pictures people post on social media or the “we have gotten together every year for one weekend for 40 years” etc.…

Priorities in adult friendships get weird. Especially when you love people all over the world, but they are all over the world and no one just to walk over and chat with or meander through Target with on a rainy day. People are really good at saying “I am here” or “call me” and then there is no follow through. Would probably be easier if they just said, “my life is too busy for you right now, but I am thinking of you”

Middle aged mama over here just desperately wants to be seen and heard. Not just by the obligatory comments left on social media – but really seen and heard – to feel like spending time with me is not an obligation but a “valued need” to get through life. It can’t be one-sided, and I do try my best to find time to commit to other people. I am sure someone out there thinks I fail miserably at this and if they are reading this, they probably are rolling their eyes and saying, “listen to your own words.”

As I pray through my pity party, I stop to think, “I wonder if this is how Jesus feels when I do not spend time with Him?’ Jesus had friends and many left their homes, families and jobs to follow him. Crowds gathered to hear him speak. A woman believed she could be healed by touching the hem of his garments.  And yet, it was his closest friends who failed him the most. One betrayed him, one denied him, only three are mentioned at the foot of the cross, and one of those was his Mother! 2000 years have passed, and people are still abandoning him, denying him, and not making time with him a priority. And yet, he still is there patiently waiting for me to make time with him a priority in my life. Why do I crave the approval of mankind when I already know Jesus is with me and has never failed me, never broken a promise, never told me I wasn’t worth it?

Perhaps it is for this reason that I feel let down by people. I mean, if we were all everything to everybody, what need would we have of Jesus? If my needs could be met by people and things here on earth, why would I look forward to Heaven? Perhaps these feelings today are just another example of the opportunity to find joy in my mourning. I cannot control other people, but I can control my reactions. I can take charge of my feelings and replace the lies with truth, today the truth I am claiming is found in Psalm 40 using the NASB translation.

God Sustains His Servant.

For the choir director. A Psalm of David.

1I waited patiently for the LORD;
            And He inclined to me and heard my cry.

  2He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay,
            And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.

  3He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;
            Many will see and fear and will trust in the LORD.

 4How blessed is the man who has made the LORD his trust,
            And has not turned to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood.

  5Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders which You have done,
            And Your thoughts toward us;
            There is none to compare with You.
            If I would declare and speak of them,
            They would be too numerous to count.

  6Sacrifice and meal offering You have not desired;
            My ears You have opened;
            Burnt offering and sin offering You have not required

 7Then I said, “Behold, I come;
            In the scroll of the book it is written of me.

 8I delight to do Your will, O my God;
            Your Law is within my heart.”

 9I have proclaimed glad tidings of righteousness in the great congregation;
            Behold, I will not restrain my lips,
            O LORD, You know.

 10I have not hidden Your righteousness within my heart;
            I have spoken of Your faithfulness and Your salvation;
            I have not concealed Your lovingkindness and Your truth from the great congregation.

 11You, O LORD, will not withhold Your compassion from me;
            Your lovingkindness and Your truth will continually preserve me.

 12For evils beyond number have surrounded me;
            My iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to see;
            They are more numerous than the hairs of my head,
            And my heart has failed me.

 13Be pleased, O LORD, to deliver me;
            Make haste, O LORD, to help me.

 14Let those be ashamed and humiliated together
            Who seek my life to destroy it;
            Let those be turned back and dishonored
            Who delight in my hurt.

 15Let those be appalled because of their shame
            Who say to me, “Aha, aha!”

16Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You;
            Let those who love Your salvation say continually,
           “The LORD be magnified!”

 17Since I am afflicted and needy,
            Let the Lord be mindful of me.
            You are my help and my deliverer;
            Do not delay, O my God.

May you find peace and comfort in His Words today!


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